What It's Like To...

What It's Like To Be a Bikini Bodybuilder

• Elizabeth Garr • Season 6 • Episode 9

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Silja Paulus spent a year pounding weights in the gym, tailoring what she ate (and often massively restricting calories), and sculpting her body--all for a few short minutes posing in a bikini and high heels in front of a panel of judges.  This is the life of a bikini fitness athlete, a form of bodybuilding that requires a particular form of dedication.  Silja had to train her body in a variety of ways--from lifting weights and learning to walk "naturally" in 3-4 inch heels, to dealing with "brain fog," a result of extreme calorie restriction.  Silja shares humorous behind-the-scenes stories too: getting spray tanned with other muscular (sometimes unclothed) bodies; 4:00am makeup calls; and why her best friend needed to shave her back. Silja also opens up about the dark side of this endeavor--women often temporarily lose their menstrual periods, and bodies can rebound and put on excess weight in the aftermath of a competition. Silja is now a health coach, and strives to compete in bikini fitness in a "healthier, more positive" way in the future.

In this episode:

01:50--Describing what "bikini fitness" is and how it fits into the bodybuilding world
04:10--The importance of knowing how to pose correctly and walk in high heels
06:55--What it's like backstage at a competition
08:46--Why athletes scrub with dishwasher soap and shave everywhere before competitions
10:32--The layers and layers of spray tans (and occasional naked bodies)
13:22--What Silja would do after a competition
14:32--Why Silja switched from marathon running to bikini fitness competitions
17:40--How her training changed
18:39--How her diet changed
22:06--"Brain fog"--what it is and why it happens
24:34--Silja's sudden, unexpected weight gain after her last competition
26:00--Her new approach: listening to her body, treating it well
28:43--Biggest misconception about bikini fitness athletes


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Silja:

Before the competition, we would just remove all the body hair, that's the next level of friendship, when your best friend is shaving your back. because I have everything else waxed, like all the hair removed. the last evening she was in the bathroom, just shaving my back.

Elizabeth:

Hello, and welcome to"What It's Like To..." The podcast that lets you walk in someone else's shoes and live vicariously through their unique experiences I'm your host, former journalist, Elizabeth Pearson Garr. And each episode, I'll be asking a new interviewee all the what, why, when, and wheres of how they do what they do. If they can do it, so can you. Each episode on this podcast, we bring you a guest who's done something that most of us haven't done or won't ever do in our lives. I can say that today's guest certainly fits that bill for me. I for one will never be found on a stage in a bikini posing and flexing in front of an audience and a panel of judges. My guest, however, does that all very well. Silja Paulus is a bikini fitness athlete and an athletic mindset coach. Silja, welcome to my podcast.

Silja:

so.

Elizabeth:

I'm so happy to have you here.

Silja:

And I'm so happy that I can also talk about something that not so many people do. And that's also one of the main reasons that I'm actually doing it.

Elizabeth:

Can you describe for people what it is? I said very quickly, you're in a bikini and you're posing, but it is bodybuilding. But it's not bodybuilding the way that we sometimes picture men with like the really, really big muscles. It's kind of fine tuned.

Silja:

it, bodybuilding is, it's just like the wider term. So this is what is happening in the gym. So I would say the preparation is still like bodybuilding because I'm building my body and I'm fine tuning it and I'm, losing the fat tissue and, uh, I'm gaining muscle and, uh, also learning to pose. But on the stage, yeah, my category is, bikini fitness. So for women, I think there are, some figure and wellness categories, but the women also look more muscular, but bikini is, one of the, more feminine, styles of fitness. Fit model would be even, more. But in bikini, it's not about super big muscles, it's more about the proportions. And having like this hourglass figure, so you have like wider shoulders and back. The glutes and legs are a little bit bigger, but the waist has to be more narrow.

Elizabeth:

So there's specific kind of proportions that you're supposed to fit into or a specific image you're supposed to look like?

Silja:

Some kind of image, yeah, but it's also a very subjective sport because the judges will also everybody who's on the stage. So it also depends on who you're standing next to and you and compare to the others. So, there are not any measurements, there's no weight category, like when having bodybuilding, for example. Maybe some years the softer look is more in trend, some years the leaner look is trendier. depends on the taste of all the judges, but actually on the stage, it's also about the whole package. So, you also need to know how to pose, and how to actually show off all these muscles and, this, shape. Because if you have, maybe, a very good proportions, but you don't know how to show it, that's also not working.

Elizabeth:

so it's

Silja:

kind like a beauty contest also. It's

Elizabeth:

you present

Silja:

gotta be, yeah. And the, the makeup is also very important, the hair. Last time I was competing a year ago, I had makeup and hair at like 4am in the morning. Then I had registration for the event at 8am. I got the spray tan around maybe 2pm, 3pm, but I got on the stage maybe 6pm. So, it's a whole long process. Wow!? Yeah,

Elizabeth:

So, I'd like to talk to you about the actual competition, because there are some really amazing things that you went through to prepare. You mentioned some of it, getting up to do the hair and makeup. So, um,

Silja:

Actually, one thing that I haven't talked about a lot it's also the posing. I'm very lucky that my trainer is also a posing teacher. And so other competitors also come to her for classes. So we were just training together, but we were also doing a lot of posing lessons. So walking in the heels, posing in front of the mirror, without the mirror,

Elizabeth:

we should mention that you're in very high heels, aren't you?

Silja:

uh. Or free falling.

Elizabeth:

Three, four-inch heels.

Silja:

Yeah, three-four-inch heels, yeah. I'm much taller with these. And in real life, I'm mostly, I don't know, running shoes, sneakers, some flat stuff. Because I'm tall already, and I don't feel like wearing high heels. I want to be comfortable. So, when I first started doing it, I would have shaky legs. I had, leg cramps and everything, because it was so alien for me. But at some point I was also just walking around in heels at home when I was cleaning, because I was like, okay, I need practice. I need feel comfortable

Elizabeth:

in

Silja:

these

Elizabeth:

Oh

Silja:

Also when I look at the videos, from my first year and second year, the second year is much better. I'm already moving much more gracefully and not stumbling

Elizabeth:

You were more comfortable.

Silja:

Yeah, because if you look at the bikini pictures girls on the stage, it looks like so natural, so easy, it's like just flowing and smiling. But actually, you're like, tucking your stomach in, like, Yeah, I'm so happy! Nobody can see painful it is. Because you're like, tucking your stomach in on the stage, arching the lower back a lot. Which for me is also like very unnatural, because my back is not naturally going this way. And then like, trying to move very gracefully, elegantly, it's, ugh. It's a lot of work also, the practice phase. But it gets better, with time. And with all these painful posing lessons that I had with my trainer.

Elizabeth:

And how long are you on stage, posing?

Silja:

It's just a few minutes, maybe.

Elizabeth:

Wow. All that work for a few minutes!

Silja:

Yeah, yeah, it depends. Sometimes there's no finals, sometimes we just walk, on the stage, all the girls at once, in one line. Then we take our positions, do the front pose, side, back, other side, front again, switch places, so the judges can also see, the different, positioning of the girls, so they can better compare, and then do the poses again. But sometimes you won't go with, with others, but I would just go on stage alone, walk there, do some kind of special routine that I practice with my trainer, that is supposed to be easy for me and also show off the best sides of me. I would do something with the hair, do some posing, turn a little bit, and then everybody else will do the same, one by one coming on the stage, and then we would do again the comparison, and the classical poses like front, side, back. Backstage there's also some other interesting stuff happening. So usually the backstage is covered with a lot of like plastic on the walls and on the floor. Because everybody, has this tan on and didn't want to ruin the floors or the walls. So everything is covered with plastic. It looks like a refugee camp or something. Back stage, people had yoga mats and blankets on the floor, just maybe just chilling, trying to preserve any energy. Or maybe they are already carb loading. That's the day when you're actually supposed to eat a lot of carbs. So people are eating, like, rice cakes, gummy bears, candies, all the stuff that was kind of, like, forbidden at a certain point. Backstage, it's time for sugar, it's time for candies, Ooh why? The carbs actually give, like, the muscle pump.

Elizabeth:

Oh, so just that very day, the day of

Silja:

the event, yeah, it has been very restricted, but the very day it's like, oh, candies, and, whatever crazy stuff. So that was also a shock for me. And also people are using, small weights, backstage, just pumping their muscles a little bit, not doing heavy reps, not doing their personal best, but just pumping up little bit. So they would have very pumped looks on stage so eating carbs, and also pumping up. And also maybe practicing in front of the mirror the poses. Getting ready mentally and physically and in every way possible.

Elizabeth:

What an interesting scene. But it might be hard to even get ready physically if you're sort of feeling a little brain foggy after all these months of deprivation.

Silja:

Actually, you know eating candies backstage, you don't have the fog anymore. And there's also like some adrenaline and yeah, the competition day. So are getting

Elizabeth:

Yeah.

Silja:

super high, it's like aah!

Elizabeth:

And about a month before you scrub your body with dishwasher soap or?

Silja:

No, no, the dishwasher comes only the last day. But the month before, there will be scrubbing every day because it's also about preparing the skin for the spray tan. So every day I would apply the body scrub. And I will also have to put some lotion on. So the skin will be softer and, ready to absorb all this, uh, spray tan. And also, before the competition, we would just remove all the body hair, arms and shaving the back and everything. So the first year when I did it, my best friend was also living with me. And we were, joking about this. It was like, okay, that's the next level of friendship, when your best friend is shaving your back. Because I have everything else waxed like all the hair removed. And then the last evening she was in the bathroom, just shaving my back.

Elizabeth:

Shaving every last hair, except

Silja:

what's on

Elizabeth:

your head!

Silja:

Yeah. yeah. yeah. everything on the head is, necessary. All the hair. I also had hair extensions because this will, the hair thicker and longer and it looks, so much better. and of course all the extensions and eyebrows, that's important. And also the nails. It's a lot about beauty as well. It And is!. And

Elizabeth:

about

Silja:

dishwasher thing actually, that's like the last day. So, the night before, we would put some kind of a pre tan. So we will put like the first layer of the spray tan all over the body, and in the morning I would just go to the shower, take some dish washing liquid, and wash it off. So there will still be like a thin layer of the tan on the skin, but the dishwasher liquid removes all the grease from the skin. It makes it a little bit dry as well.

Elizabeth:

And then

Silja:

because

Elizabeth:

smell like dishes

Silja:

I smell fairy, yeah. but actually dish prepares the skin for the tan, so actually, the last year, I also had very good tan, because of all this, because the night before, we were applying like, one layer, we were two girls in a hotel room, and our trainer was then with a roll, she was just painting us all over, and it's like completely normal to stand in the middle of a hotel room, completely naked, and somebody else is rolling you with everything,

Elizabeth:

with the tan. So that's how you're

Silja:

yeah,

Elizabeth:

there. Someone's painting you.

Silja:

Yeah, yeah, that was like the first layer. But on the competition day, we also get like the spray one. So on the competition day, I would go to a special booth, where they're like spray tanning everybody. So the first year, it was actually men and women in the same room. So the first year, I just opened the door, I had some robe on. Then we went to the tanning room with my trainer and the girls, and open the door. Okay, they're naked men. whatever, I don't care. And at it's like, everybody's already so focused so you don't even, care that, naked bodies, because everybody's also looking very you know, bodybuilders And,

Elizabeth:

muscular naked bodies getting

Silja:

tanned yeah! Yeah, all these brown bodies. I think there was also some guy even spraying me with tan and then the guy is just telling okay bend over okay whatever because in this situation this is completely normal and it doesn't feel sexual or anything it feels normal and after the first layer we would have to go and stand in front of this big ventilator, like fans, and just get dry. Bending in front of the fans and just waiting. At the first year, when we were in a small room, my trainer also had this small hair dryer. So we were just standing there she was just with the hair dryer, trying to get us dry faster. That's so funny Then there's the second layer and they also apply a special mist that's like the anti green because if you start sweating brown tan can actually turn green, ending up to look like Shrek. Actually

Elizabeth:

I look like

Silja:

Actually, yeah.

Elizabeth:

except a

Silja:

like,

Elizabeth:

cut Shrek.

Silja:

So under the arms, actually, I had a little bit of cream, because you still maybe sweat a little bit. But you're not, like, supposed to touch anything, or sweat, and just be very calm. Just a few minutes before going on the stage, we would also apply some oil, so it would look shiny. Wow!,

Elizabeth:

So you're doing all this to your body and then you're getting tons of makeup put on too and your

Silja:

Yeah, yeah. The makeup is already on, from the early morning hours. Makeup and hair. So, when we go tanning, we usually have the hair, in a net, so it's covered, so it wouldn't ruin the hair with the tan. Everybody has, like, very heavy makeup on and then it's, like, somebody's spraying you with all this paint, and then you also put on this very shiny bikini, that's also, has a lot rhinestones on and it's very, very shiny and colorful.

Elizabeth:

And is the feeling really competitive, or is it kind of a supportive environment?

Silja:

Uh, it's more like a supportive environment. Because we've all been on a diet for a very long time, and it's like, yeah, I know what it feels. I would say it's a very good community.

Elizabeth:

And then after the competition, are you just dying to, I don't know, eat or drink what you want, or are you exhausted or how do you feel afterwards?

Silja:

I would say that I didn't eat anything crazy after this. I was just like, okay, it's done. Okay, what now? Last time I didn't do so well, so the next day I was also a little bit sad, I was disappointed in myself. So the next day I ate like, 100 grams of butter, two ice creams, all kinds of crazy stuff. For one day I was just like going crazy and I wanted all this fatty stuff. I was just eating, I just had butter in my hand, I was just like, biting, and I was like, butter, fat! And my body was just craving. But at some point I'm like, hmm, I actually like my vegetables and I like my chicken, so I want to go back to this as well. It's probably hard for a body to adjust to suddenly eating tons of ice cream and butter after you've been off it for so long Yeah, yeah, I did like, on the day after, but after this I was like, okay, let's go back to normal.

Elizabeth:

Wow. Let's go backwards. So I think you ran like 20 marathons in your life, right? So you were, a serious runner, but you wanted to have a different kind of challenge.

Silja:

Yeah, I was running for like 10 years. I used to be a long distance runner, so I was doing marathons. Right now I'm also wearing like a marathon t shirt with the Estonian flag on it. So that's my country. And, after five years of running, I thought, okay, I want to do this, more seriously. So I got myself a trainer. I had a physiotherapy. I had a plan. So my marathon times were improving very much and I got pretty fast. And I was quite satisfied with my results. So at some point I also realized, I can't run faster than three hours for a marathon. So my best is at 3: 15, which is, uh, quite, quite okay. But if I can't run three hours, I'll never get like any medals at the Estonia championship. So like, I won't go into the Worlds. And I'm getting tired of this. So at the same time, I was doing a little bit of the gym, on the side, but I was only doing gym to support my running. So I was doing less weight and more repetitions. runners' strength training kind of. At some point, I realized that just running a marathon and doing long distance is not extraordinary enough for me because so many people can just run. I was doing it quite well, but I was like, okay, I want to do something that actually makes me grow a little bit more. So, for example, runners very often say that, Yeah, I can eat everything because I'm just gonna run it off. As a nutritionist, I'm like, But what about optimal, uh, well being? What about actually feeling very good in the body? And what about going even further with your performance and nutrition because I think paying more attention to the nutrition, they could be healthier, more energized, more optimized, and they better. I was like, okay, I wanna do something harder. I kind of like the gym, and I know that in body building, the nutrition is very precise. And then I realized that, okay, I'm not going to improve in running. Let's just switch and let's see what's going to happen.

Elizabeth:

So how did things switch? What did you start doing that you hadn't done before?

Silja:

So when I had my last marathon, I told my running trainer, okay, I'm going to be back very soon. But a few months later I was like, okay, I'm actually going into bodybuilding. So I contacted another trainer, I met with her. She was like, okay, let's do this. Uh, I was like, can I be ready for the spring? It was like December already. She was like, no, no, no, no, no. Next year, October. So bodybuilders also

Elizabeth:

Take your time.

Silja:

Yeah. I was oh yeah, I've been going to the gym like for a few months already. Can I go already? Just like, no, it takes time. And actually, she knows what she's doing, because, recently, her students also won, the world championship. So she's very good

Elizabeth:

Oh wow.

Silja:

She's, uh, very, very good. And, she said, yeah, next October, maybe, let's see. Let's just start doing stuff. And we started training together. I was following her plan. And she could also see that, I was actually growing quite fast. So once a week we also trained together. Other times I was just doing it alone, but according to her plan. I had this, very good, pace, as I noted already. So

Elizabeth:

From all the marathoning.

Silja:

Yeah, I had like

Elizabeth:

very good endurance But it was not as much cardio and more, weightlifting. Was it like a lot of repetitive, strength training?

Silja:

Yeah, it was more like weightlifting. We were doing cardio only the last two months before the competition. And we were doing cardio only because I wasn't losing as much weight, as was needed. So that's why we also started adding a little bit of cardio I

Elizabeth:

see. So the goal is to get very toned muscles and to get that, you also need to change your diet, right? Because you need to see the definition in your body.

Silja:

Yeah,

Elizabeth:

Is that right?

Silja:

So the first half of the year is usually growing. So it's growing the muscle, but it also means gaining some fat. And after this, starts the diet where we're like losing fat and revealing all the muscle that is underneath the fat tissue as well. I think the first year I was dieting uh, like four and a half months. Second year I was on a diet for like six months, just to lose the fat. But before that I was also gaining, but also gaining fat, not only muscle.

Elizabeth:

So what were you eating? What, what was your change? What were you doing without or what were you adding in?

Silja:

I wouldn't say that my diet was super different because I'm also like a nutritionist so I was eating quite okay already. But, I think what she introduced was mostly less fat in the food and we've also increased protein because the muscle needs to grow. And I think I also started eating a little bit less, carbohydrates that I was, doing before. And the main focus was still, like, on the protein. And, when I was, at the end of the diet, she was also telling me not to eat, too much dairy, and also eat, less gluten because these are the kind of food that can also, make the body inflammatory a little bit, and this means like more weight gain, and the body's also holding on to water. The last week, we were also reducing salt intake, because salt is also, keeping the water inside, and it will look like fluffier. And, the last month, I was also not, allowed to eat, protein bars, because they're sugar free, they're full of protein, but they also have a lot of different things inside. If you look at the ingredients, it's like a long list usually. And, in the end I had to eat much cleaner food, not like, sweeteners and any additives. But somewhere in the middle of that, I I was experimenting a lot with different sweeteners, so I had like 10 different flavors from my protein store and I was going crazy with them. And sometimes when I didn't have many calories left, in my day and I wanted something good, something sweet, I would just take some whisked egg whites, add some flavor drops, gingerbread flavor, and I would just fry this. So I would have like egg white omelets with flavor drops. And that was like my sweet dessert.

Elizabeth:

Oh my goodness. Flavor drops. I don't even know what flavor drops are, but it doesn't sound very appetizing!

Silja:

Like, uh, so yeah, it's like, uh, sugar free calorie free, but it has like a flavor. It has taste added. Sweet. At some point I was, going crazy about this. I had like apple flavor mango, coconut gingerbread, salted caramel coffee, mocha. Ugh. Uh, I'm, I'm not craving this anymore. But at some point I was eating quite a lot and I think many people in the fitness world drink a lot of these sugar free flavored drinks. I was also doing that at some point and now I'm kind of tired of this as well. There's also a lot of energy drinks being consumed but also of course you can do bodybuilding in a much cleaner way and just eating normal food like chicken, cottage cheese, cheese. Like normal proteins, vegetables, rice. You don't have to go crazy with all these supplements. That's also maybe, like a marketing trick, to have all these supplements in.

Elizabeth:

Yeah. Maybe just stick to the whole foods.

Silja:

Yeah, that would be easier, but it's also expensive too. You're like, oh, I can have all these sweet things, like protein bars and protein cookies. And, uh, it feels like, okay, I'm still having all this nice stuff, all this sweet stuff, but I'm not getting any sugar. Yeah. But actually.... I'm also starting to think that, okay, that's actually not, like, real food, because if you look at the ingredients, it's still, a very long list, and it's not very natural for the body. Sometimes I'm I don't know, in a hurry, and maybe tired. It's like, okay, this protein bar looks really good. Or this sugar free, whatever flavor ice cream, yes. But if you look at the ingredients, it's actually like, um, is this like real food? Oh

Elizabeth:

So is it just shortly before the competition that things get pretty intense and you have to start working out a lot more and restricting food a lot more? When we were in touch earlier, you had said that, you started getting brain fog and that start that your body starts maybe reacting a little negatively to all of this.

Silja:

Yeah, yeah, it's maybe like the last month because, the fat percentage is also going very low, and, the brain needs quite a lot of fat to function properly, and at this point, the body fat percentage is going low, the brain is not getting enough energy, and sometimes, like, in the evening, there's no energy to do anything, so, I was doing, my training and everything, early in the morning when I still had energy and the evening sort of just be like sitting and I don't even want to lift a hand. And if somebody wanted to do something with me, I was like, uh, no, I'm not coming anywhere. I'm just, no energy. And the brain was, getting quite slow. So at this point, I was also working in IT. And then in the second half of the day, I was, sitting at the computer, trying to do some tasks. I was like, okay, what, what was I doing? What was the sentence? I can't remember. I don't know.

Elizabeth:

All for the goal of the competition date.

Silja:

Yeah, the last month can be quite tough because, the body has been in a constant energy deficit for many months already. And now the fat percentage has gone quite low and it's still going lower and lower. I'm not giving enough energy to my body

Elizabeth:

How realistic is it to stay in that for very long? I mean, do some people stay competing for years on end? I know that you've talked about seasons of competing, preparing, not competing. Can you talk about that? I don't know that it's healthy for the body to stay in that state for very long.

Silja:

That's also very contradictory, because there are few people who can stay in this shape for a long time. One of them is, for example, Ashley Calforce, she's like a professional bikini fitness athlete, and she has won like, I don't know what's the number now, 35 pro competitions?

Elizabeth:

Wow.

Silja:

So in the whole history, she's the athlete who has won the most titles, even more than any Schwarzenegger or of these big guys. And she's staying clean and very close to her competition shape all year round. Yeah, she And for her it seems like it's kind of easy, but maybe it's her body is very used to being tested. But most people especially for women, it's not healthy to stay in this very low body fat percentage. But I think it's also very individual. For example, my body doesn't want to be in that shape for the whole year. That's also why I took this year off from competing because after last year, in a very short time, maybe like, six months, I gained like 15 kilos. like 30 pounds, no? Anyway, I got to my heaviest weight in my whole life after competition quite soon, and I wasn't eating too much, I was still, working out, five days,, six days a week. And I was like, okay, what's my body doing? It's like, just collecting all the food and not letting go of anything. I'm like, what the hell is happening? So

Elizabeth:

Interesting.

Silja:

yeah. And I also, I, lost some period for six months. It stopped a little bit before the competition, a few months. So competition was in October, and the period, I think, I got it back around Christmas. So my body was not functioning in a healthy way. And it was telling me, no, this year you need to stop. You need to rest.

Elizabeth:

Was that worrisome, to feel like you lose your period and

Silja:

I think I was more worried about, just gaining all this weight. Because I lost my period also in the first year. Then it was like maybe one and a half months, and it came back. So when I lost it for six months, I was like, okay, it's gonna come back. I was quite sure about this, and it did. But I couldn't just understand and explain all this weight gain, I was like when does it stop, how big am I going to get, I'm still moving, I'm still working out, and started feeling uncomfortable. Now it's actually going down, so I'm still training, I'm also running a little bit, and I feel quite strong, and I can also see that okay, my body has made peace with me, and it's kind of going down. But as I also studied as a health coach myself, and my, my approach is this holistic approach and actually talking to your body. I also learned to talk with my own body through this process of learning and also coaching clients. And now I'm also listening to my own body more. Because at some point maybe I wasn't doing it, I was just forcing and pushing it, just to be a certain shape because I was supposed to be at a certain body weight at a certain time, but I wasn't getting there and that was giving me frustration. And I actually finally started to listen to my body and ask, Okay, what do you actually want? And also started to kind of apologize, to my body and say, Okay, I will promise to give you nutritious food, I will take care of you, I will nurture you, I will listen to you, we will rest. So, it was quite a journey, I would say.

Elizabeth:

Yeah. And a great life lesson that all of us can learn from, even if we're not going to go to the extreme of, being a bikini fitness athlete or something, or lose all that weight we can all just be gentler to our bodies and listen to what they need and when you need nutrition and when you need rest, and maybe it's not going to be the size that you want it to be right away, but just listen to yourself and be kind.

Silja:

Yeah, that's the biggest lesson for me.

Elizabeth:

So you mentioned that now you're in the season of not competing this year, but you think you'll compete again in the future?

Silja:

Yeah, I think in about, year's time I will do it again. Because I think there's more to do. I can get into better shape, I can, really go to the next level, so that's what I want to do. But, the next time I would also like to do it, in a way that is more enjoyable. So I want to hack this thing as well, and see if it's possible to do the bodybuilding, diet, and everything without feeling like I have to die. So I would also like to know how to do that, I don't know yet how it's going to be possible. But I want to try, and I want to find a way. How to do it in a healthier and lighter way, and also have more fun on the go.

Elizabeth:

Well, I think if anyone can do it, it's probably you, because I think you have a really interesting perspective on it. You know, you're very thoughtful about being mindful and an athlete. And I read some of the things that you've written and I think you're very motivating, to yourself and to others. I like this one thing that you wrote. I'd just like to read it. It says,"No one else is responsible for my goals. No one else is responsible for me showing up. No one else is responsible for keeping it going. It can mean being different from others, but this is how you become extraordinary. They don't need to understand. They don't need to accept. This is for me. I choose me."

Silja:

Yeah.

Elizabeth:

That was

Silja:

because,

Elizabeth:

encouraging.

Silja:

I think is also when you're doing bodybuilding. Sometimes you have to say no to other people to say yes to yourself. So that's what I had to do.

Elizabeth:

What do you think is the biggest misconception about, bikini fitness?

Silja:

Um, maybe people think that, yeah, it's so easy, everybody can do this. Go lift some weights and put on a bikini, but actually, all the work that goes behind this the posing, needs so much practice and so many hours. It looks easy on the stage because you have been practicing so much, but actually in the inside you're like shaking, and maybe the trainer is also backstage shouting at you, Stomach in! Chest up, and arch your back because she was doing that as well. I could hear her voice, she was like, stomach in, smile, smile, come on! And actually, from the backstage, you can see the other competitors, their legs are shaking. But if you look from the audience, it's like, oh yeah, everything is fine, I'm, I'm fine.

Elizabeth:

They make it look easy because of all the practice.

Silja:

Yeah, it looks so effortless, but actually on the stage, posing, it's very hard. Yeah, I'm sure. Oh, there's so many elements that go into it. I think that part of what makes it fascinating. There's the fitness part, and then there's the eating part of it, and then there's the mental part, and then there's the beauty part, and the posing, Yeah. Actually with my trainer at some point we were also like discussing, what's the look that we are going after this year? And we were talking about the bikini colors. This is also something that is usually not revealed before competition. So the first year I had pink bikini. Second year I had the purple. The color is a big secret before the competition, actually.

Elizabeth:

Wow.

Silja:

Because otherwise maybe your competitors will know what you're wearing and they will want to try to be different, to stand out. And yeah, it's also a thing that is not talked about usually.

Elizabeth:

One more element in your toolkit that you can

Silja:

Yeah,

Elizabeth:

pull out.

Silja:

We also have some jewelry, so we have some bracelets on the arms, we also have big earrings. So, they have to be coordinated with the bikini and the whole look, and they have to be like super big and massive, because it's part of the look, actually. And, with my trainer we were also discussing, what should the hair color be? So, I've always had kind of red hair. And before the competition she said, okay, maybe you can color it a little bit colder kind of pink. So I started coloring my hair like raspberry tone. So that's also part of the look.

Elizabeth:

Well this has just been so fascinating. This is a world I knew nothing about, Silja, so thank so much.

Silja:

Now you know so much more. And you know that there are so many different layers actually to it. And it's much more than just lifting in a gym. This is just one part of it.

Elizabeth:

And what a process. You know, you really had to set your mind to something. But anyone can do it, it sounds like, if they have the drive and determination to do it.

Silja:

Yeah. And I think it also requires some mindset. So if you get your mind right, it's much easier. Then you don't have to look for motivation because it comes so naturally.

Elizabeth:

Thank you so much. I really appreciate all your time and all the inside information. You really took us backstage the competition.

Silja:

Yeah. It was some crazy times, crazy things have done in my life and I will do it again.

My thanks to Silja Paulus for opening my eyes to a whole new world of fitness bodybuilding. Here are some of my takeaways from our conversation. Number one: Mom was right, practice does make, if not perfect, then progress. Silja may have had to walk around in high heels even to clean her house, but it worked. Two. There are no shortcuts. Put in the work, day after day, week after week, month after month. 3. You can tell who your real friends are when they're willing to do something like shave your back. 4. Listen to your body. Treat it well with the right amounts of good, nutritious foods, rest, and exercise. Some crazy things can happen when you don't. And finally, number five. As Silja wrote, No one is responsible for me showing up, but this is how you become extraordinary. I choose me." To learn more about Silja Paulus, her bikini fitness competitions, or her work as a health coach, check out the show notes for this episode. If you like listening to interviews with athletes, you might be interested in episodes 35 and 36 with former pro baseball player Joe Biagini and episode 38 with former NFL quarterback Jake Locker. Thanks so much for listening. I'd really appreciate it if you'd subscribe to this podcast if you haven't already and tell a few friends about it too. I'm Elizabeth Pearson Garr. Thanks for being curious about what it's like.